do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
