Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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