yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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