this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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