We tried having a conversation with our noses.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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