Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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