i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
dude i'm inner monologue high
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
