it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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