I CAN MOONWALK!
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
