the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
