I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
