PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
