You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
