oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
