Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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