Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
