I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
