she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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