I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
