Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
