I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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