Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
