so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
