I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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