This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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