so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
