Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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