i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
