Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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