Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
