dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Randomize
