we're blogging at a bar
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
