yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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