He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
