So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
