i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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