Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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