god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
