like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
