Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
