Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
