My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
