I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
