I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
