Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Randomize
