I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
