We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
