I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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