Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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