I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
