the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
