did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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